Haizz...
This week had been quite a bad week for me. Well except for the Xiaozhu's auto session.

On Saturday, I was washing my dishes when suddenly the mirror behind me fell down and crashed intoa million pieces.
I was surprised but calm down and told my brother to get out of the kitchen while i cleaned up the broken pieces.
Well, i picked up all the broken pieces carefully but i did get myself cut a bit.

Then on Sunday morning, I woke up at 6am to pray.
I was groggy and went to the bathroom to bathe.
I went in and slipped and fell on the bathroom floor!
I practically lie flat on the bathroom floor!
Ouch! My butt hurt very bad. I think i got a bruise coz it felt painul went i sat down on hard surfaces. Other than my butt, on of my finger also bruise a bit. And my whole neck ached! I think it was because i held my head up to prevent my head form knocking against the floor. Reflex action.
Haiz... Really, my whole body ached.

Furthermore, that sunday, a lot of guests came over to my house coz my parents had open house to inform them that they were going for a pilgrimage to Mecca.
I managed to sneak for 2 hours to see Xiaozhu though.
But the stupid EG make me worried.
Lucky i know now they are stuck in China and they are safe.
I need not need anymore bad luck for the moment!

Hehe...
I finally saw Xiaozhu in person!
He is so shuai in person.
He is so funny and he kept wiping his perspiration with a tissue.
He kept cracking jokes.
There is one joke he cracked. He said, "Let's welcome ENERGY!"
Then all the crowd went wild. He replied, "Oh...You guys are here to see Energy, not me? I am so sad. I want to go off now."
Then the crowd begged him to stay.
Hehe...
Then he complained of the weather being so hot. Haizz...he is lucky and better off then those poor guys in Beijing..I wonder how they are now...

Before the auto started, He sang two songs. One of them is the fast song. My fav song the one that have tui mo lu elemnts in it. The second song he sang was the one he sang with Xiao S. At first, he wanted to have one fan to sing Xiao S part but somehow in the end he sang his part and the fans sang Xiao S part.

The auto session started. There are many fans. Much more than Energy i should say.The queue was very long but fast.
Many people kept staring at my cousin and i.
My cousin did not bring the cover. In the end, she did not go up and see Xiaozhu.
I went up and saw Xiaozhu. He is very cute!
He signed first then looked up and smiled and shook hands with me.
Haha...
Hi hand is very warm!



When I came down, my cousin wait for me at the end.
We were walking away when one of the crew stopped us and wanted to take a photo of us.
I find it weird and embarrassed.
I smiled but smile the kind of smile that is full of confuse.
But whatever it is, I had lots of fun that day!

I went to my friendster account and read through my testimonials.
Some are touching and there are some which are purely funny and crazy.

Throughout my life, i never had any lose real friends.
I dunnoe what is the meaning of friends.
Throughout my life, the people whom i know their name and recognize their faces are those whom i called friends.
I never really put any effort to keep any of them throughout my primary, secondary and JC life.
Why is that?
I feel scared of people who are close to me.
I feel suffocated by them.
I am envious by what they achieve which i cant.
I fear people trying to know me well but yet i want them to come to me.
I want their attention but at the same time, i dont want them to meddle with my affairs.
I want to tell my problems but i cant seemed to do it.
I want friends but i am afraid of them.

I know that i am insecure.
I am very insecure.

I treasure friendships very much but i cant seemed to hold on to them.
They tend to hurt me.
They tend to make me sad.
They tend to make my heart broke.
I trust people easily yet they make use of it.
Even though i know that i am being used, i still kept mum and continue with the friendship,hoping that one day they will realize it without me pointing it out.

I hate to hurt anyone feelings.
I hate to make people cry.
I love to see others laugh and smile.
Making them smile and laugh is one thing that i like to do.

Somehow, i really hope that i can hold on to the friends that i have now forever.
I really hope that they change my perspective towards friends.
I hope that the can make me feel secure.

These past few days, i have been having nightmares.
It started out being a nice dream and then suddenly turn for the worse.
I had been having these stupid nightmares ever since the day i had the sinking feelings.

I can't believe that i am having nightmares.
There must be something in my head that is causing them.
But i dunnoe what is it.
Maybe i had been reading too much thriller stories?
Or watch horror movies?
Maybe...

I was on my way back home with my cousin.
We were halfway from kranji to marsiling mrt.
I was bored so i took out my phone and started to show her my ringtones.
I switch on my phone to the mp3 player and play my fav song for her to listen.
Then after 30 secs, i switch to another song, "Power rangers" and joked with her that it brough some memories to us.
Halfway to that power ranger song, i switch to another song, "Give it up" and chatted somethings abt Toro.
The song was barely 40 secs when i switch to another song.
I let her listen to my bro playing the guitar.
Then after that, i was about to switch off the phone and put back into my pouch when a lady come up at us and said, "Is the music coming from you?"
I nodded.
She replied back, "Don't you think that it is irritating?"
I was staring at her, shocked.
She left immediately.
I was shocked that i forgot what i was trying to say to my cousin.
My cousin was angry. I was angry too but i did not want to make a scene so i let the thing go off.
That woman was alighting at the same stop as us. As soon as the door open, she quickly walked away.
I was staring at her hard. My cousin said loudly, "She doesn't appreciate music,"
I said, "We have the right to play music right? I was just about to keep it away anyway."
I saw that woman turned slightly.
I just kept quiet.
My cousin said that i was pretty cool-headed.
I smiled and replied that i dun like to make abig fuss out of it.
But deep down in me, i feel like pulling her hair and screaming all the vulgar words that i knew at her.
Haha...

I am thinking, am i being inconsiderate by the way?
Maybe...

Today had been a bad day.
First of all, the night before, i could not get a wink of sleep. I had a bad feeling that something horrible is going to happen. I tossed and turn and wild things keep running through my mind. I don't know why but i just have that horrible feeling in my mind and in my stomach. I forced myself to sleep but i just cant.

I woke up or rather snap out of my thoughts about 6am to pray. I saw my mom was up and told her what i was feeling but she nv say anything abt it.
After i prayed, i went back to forcing myself to sleep.
I played around with my phone, looking at pics.
i slept at arnd 7am an then woke up at 11.30am.

Then i prepared myself. i went out not having breakfast.
I promised my cousin to follow her to register in ITE at Dover.
Then i ask her to accompany me to a japanese flea market at Paya Lebar.
Well, what a disappointment.
The clothes are not what i expected to be.
I thought i want to get some winter clothes for my parents who are going to Mecca soon.
But too bad, the clothes are just not what i expected.
i was tired and then went home without buying anything.

When i reached home, my other cousins were waiting for me.
They were waiting for me coz i promised to help them register ITE thru my net at home.
I straight away set the things up and apply for him.
But i tried for so many times but i cant get thru the net.
My comp is seriously having its mood swings.
Hehe...
Then, my mom phoned my aunt an asked to use the comp in her house.
So i went there immediately. That time was 8pm.
After applying for him, we went home.
Then was about 10.30pm.

I did not eat the whole day.
i just dun haf the appetite.
I keep having that sinking feeling in my stomach.
I dunnoe why.
I am very scared but i haf no one to turn to.

Hehe...
I juz bought a new phone, nokia 6230.
There is camera,video and mp3.
The only thing that is puzzling me now is how to insert mp3 into my phone.
Can anyone tell me how?

One close aunt of mine was diagnosed of having a cyst in her ovary.
I knew that she was scared when she called just now asking for my mom.
I know a cyst is not cancerous and not that dangerous but still if one is to get it, u will still feel scared despite all the assurances.
Sometimes when i think of my family, i feel grateful.
My relatives are all having troubles of their own.
Financial problems, health problems, family problems, etc.

I feel that somehow i am numb with all these problems. As if i do not care.
Like my heart go cold, ice cold.
Not that i do not want to know or care about them but somehow i am dragged into this mess by one way or another.
I plastered smiles on my face and offer words of encouragement and advise but sometimes, i feel nothing. Empty.
I wonder why.
Is it becoz i am too used to hearing all these problems? Maybe.
I know that some of my relatives might say that i am a snob, a know-it-all and stuff. Well, kind of true.
I wonder myself what type of person am i.
I cannot stay angry with one person for long. I cannot show affection to someone i love. The only thing i can do is smile and laugh.
Hmm... sometimes i think too much.
Maybe i feel this way because i do not like to be bog down my emotional problems.

Today i went to IMH to visit my cousin who was hospitalized there.
It was quite an experience.
Well, I was kind of nervous. Who doesn't?
But i managed to calm myself down mentally and somehow, a big grin was plastered to my face automatically. I just realized that i smile easily no matter what mood i am.

There were quite a few people there and mostly were boys.
Surprise? I am quite surprised too.
The guys there are pretty cute too. Serious! Even though i like Kunda but that doesnt mean that i cannot think other guys are cute too. Hehehe.....

My cousin seemed quite all right.
I talked to the nurse in-charge about her condition.
She told me that she was improving but she stil talked to herself.
i asked her whether she could be cured and is it due to stress or depression.
The nurse replied that it was neither stree nor depression. It was some sickness of the mind. The only way to cure her is to let her take medicine at all times. If she misses her medicine, she will have slim chances to recover fully.

There is this malay guy. He is very talkative.
He loves to sing and talk nonsense. Then he will ask whether he is handsome and then he will shout 'I love you' to all the people in the room. When i heard him say, i muttered under my breath, "I only like 1 guy and that is definitely not you."
My auntie brought sweets and the guys in the room all approached to my auntie one by one asking for a sweet in a very polite manner.
It was quite a sight.
It is really a pity to see that those people who have mind sickness are mostly guys and cute ones too... Haiz...

Oh yeah, anyone wants to follow mw the next time i go there? Haha...

Hmm...
The drama featuring 4 cute guys finally ended.
What are my feelings?
Kind of disappointed due to several reasons.
1-The drama is not as good as i expected even though i like the dancing scenes
2-It is kind of boring
3-(the most important reason) I CAN"T WATCH KUNDA ANYMORE!!! sob...sob...

The only thing that kept me watching or glued to the drama was the eagerness to watch Kunda in action. Hehe... Typical huh?
The drama is pretty boring to some extend but the only interesting parts were the dancing scenes and the background music.
I like to watch the behind the scenes. They are so funny!
Esp the NGs....
Haha...

Juz started my driving leson yesterday.
The lectures are so boring!
I practically slept in that room.
Very tired coz worn out due to the the outing.
That morning, i was having such a wonderful dream.
I dreamt about Kunda and Niu Nai.
Hehe...
But my mom had to wake me up at the most exciting part of the dream because i was running late to go for the stupid lectures.
Haizz...
I hope that i can continue the dream but i know that it is highly impossible...

The day before was the day when we (Fart, Siti, Ching Hwa and Xin Yi) finally met after a long break.
The place where we met was at Escape Theme Park where we spent the whole day there, from 1.30pm till almost 9pm... Very long, rite?

I thought that we are late coz we reached the place at around 12+...
Well, Siti was proud that she was the first one and did not arrive late. So everyone, let's give her an applause! Haha....
After meeting Siti at Tampines, we took a taxi to Pasir Ris..
As usual, we have to wait for our 2 "SUPER STARS", much more popular and big shot than Energy for quite awhile.
Then, Siti and I came up with a plan to be sarcastic to the 2 of them. So we decided to pose as paparazzi and fan.. Haha...

Then, we went in and stash our bag into the lockers.
After thatm we went around to take rides.
The first ride that we took was the Rainbow one.
At first, it was ok.
Then, it gets higher and faster.
I AM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!!
So, u can guess what happen.
I screamed and grab hold of the var for my dear life.
When the ride ended, i immediately got off because my whole body was shaking.

The next ride was the viking ship.
I remember when i was primary 6, my class took me to Asian Village.
I took the viking ship and when i got off, i vomitted.
Yet it didnt stopped me from riding that ride 5 TIMES!!!
And each time, I vomitted.
Well, u can call me out of my mind. Haha...
But now, when i took the ship, i did not vomit at all!
A grest improvement, i muz say...
Haha...
While waiting for the ride, i thot i want to ride in the middle of the ship.
Xinyi and Siti sat at the most back of the ship.
Ching hwa said that she wanted to sit at the back of the ship but down a little bit.
I cannot help but laugh at her choice of words.
Haha...
I ended up in between Ching Hwa and Fart.
When the ship start to move, it was alright.
Soon, it began to pick up speed.
I subconsciously hugged Fart's arm very tight.
They wanted to have a screaming competition and they remind us to scream but they said that i am an automatic screamer. No need to tell me to fake a scream.
Haha...

Then, what do we ride next?
I think we take go-kart.
First, Fart sat out and i drove Siti while Xinyi and Ching Hwa pair up together.
I was a bit of a reckless driver. Hehe...
But the ones in front of me were slow!
Too slow that i practically stop and could not move at all!
haizz...

Then, we took the single go-kart.
I plan to go slow coz if i drive to fast, i would not get the fun of it.
Everything was fine until the second last round.
There was an indian guy wanting to cut me off.
Fine, i let him cut me in but he was slow so i overtook him.
Then, he overtook me again but i was too lazy to compete with him.
He is juz a kid so i dun wan to fight over petty stuff.
I thought that i was the last one so i stopped while the guy gave us a cue to park our cars.
I let go of my sterring wheel and relax oz i am quite far at the back.
Suddenly, there was an impact behind me.
There was another indian guy bumped into me!
I hit my head againt the seat. Lucky, i wore the seatbelt
If not, i would be kissing the sterring wheel...
I was damn pissed off and expertly (Ahem..) parked my car. I could hear som of the people saying, "Wah!" Hehe...
That stupid kid doesn't even apologize!
He ran off as soon as he went out. Arghh!
I got a headache after that...
And a sore throat due to screaming..

Then, we went to th indoor roller-coaster.
While we were waiting to go in, we were waiting inside this dark room.
Everyone was so fascinated by the light and the glow...
Hahaha....
It was cute...
The roller-coaster was a bumpy one.
I thought i will get thrown out from the car but as usual, i didn't.
Haha...
Xinyi and Ching Hwa got bruises but i dun.
I guess they can't keep their legs properly.
Hehehe....

Then we went to lunch.
We combine our coupons together and bought quite a few stuff...
3 burgers, a large drink and large fries.
Xy and ch bought hot dogs and drinks from Orange Julius.
As usual, i cannot finish my burger.
The 3 of them started their speech about the people from Africa are starving, the children are dying of hunger and etc.
The more i heard this, the more i lost my appetite.
In the end, i only eat the patties with the help of Fart eating one of them.
Hehe... Thanks, Fart!

Then, after lunch, we went to queue up the water blaster ride.
Guess what? We waited for 1 hr to go that ride.
While waiting, we took pictures.
Then, we complain among ourselves that the guy who was shouting at one of the booths noisy.
Hehe....
Then, after we got our turn, my DARN boat CANNOT MOVE!!!
Arghh!
i hate it.
I was frowning all the time.
The guys who were in-charge told me to press twice.
I press so many times but it still doesnt work!
They still told me to press.
Press what? i feel like pressing like face to the stupid button.
No fun at all!
HUMPHHH!!!

After that, we took go-kart again.
This time, Ching Hwa sat out.
Siti drove me. Xinyi kept wishing me good luck and said that she hope that i could still see Kunda again.
Haha...
Well, i gave a warning to Siti that I STILL want to see Kunda again. She laugh.
Well, she drove not as crazy as i thought.
Ok, but Xinyi's bf blocked us. So we have to go slow.
Hehe...

After that, Xinyi and Siti went to ride the Revolution.
I didn't rode it coz it was spinning and i sure willl vomit..

Then, Xinyi, Siti and Ching Hwa rode the Flipper.
While they rode that, Fart pulled me to the Ferris Wheel.
Well, Ferris Wheel looked harmless but i still freak out.
Hehe...
To think that they say Ferris Wheel is a lovers' ride.
Yeah right!
I want to ride with Kunda!
Hehehehe.....
I can dream, right?

Then, after that, we ride the ferris wheel again.
Haha...
Coz, the 3 of them wanted to ride it.
I got no choice but to follow.
Siti, Fart and i squeeze into one carriage.
Haha...
It was quite a squeeze.
Haha....
Fart and Siti started singing and moving the carriage.
I shout at them to stop.
I think i am the only 1 who shout out of fear in the ferris wheel.
Haha....

Then, i saw that the wet and wild ride was functioning.
We ran there and rode it.
Fart, Siti and I went together.
Siti dat at the back and she got wet the most.
haha....Xinyi looked worse.
She looked like a drowned rat!
We bought the pictures and laughed at them.
Ching Hwa had the time to pose!
Haha....
Then, we decided to ride it again.
This time, fart sat out and i sat with Ching Hwa.
Now, Ching Hwa was the one who got wet!
Haha...
After that, we took our last ride which was the kiddy roller coaster.

Then, after that, wet, we went to the beach to relax.
then, we went home.

Name: 山下　リンダ
DOB: 20 January .

Hobby: Surfing net, reading, listening to music

Fav Boys:Aiba Masaki, Akanishi Jin, Yamashita Tomohisa(Guys),

Fav Food & Drink:Chocolate & Cha Soba(food), Green tea (drink)

Fav Doramas: Nobuta Wo Produce, Gokusen 1 & 2, Dragon Zakura

Fav Songs: Hesitate, It Can't Be, Murasaki by Jin Akanishi, ButterflyーKattun,Himawari,Snow Express, Weeek Daite Senorita, Love Song, Colourful- Yamapi, Right Back to You, Wish, Harukaze Sneakers, Subarashi Sekai-Arashi, Itsuka No Summer- Aiba Masaki