I went to my friendster account and read through my testimonials.
Some are touching and there are some which are purely funny and crazy.
Throughout my life, i never had any lose real friends.
I dunnoe what is the meaning of friends.
Throughout my life, the people whom i know their name and recognize their faces are those whom i called friends.
I never really put any effort to keep any of them throughout my primary, secondary and JC life.
Why is that?
I feel scared of people who are close to me.
I feel suffocated by them.
I am envious by what they achieve which i cant.
I fear people trying to know me well but yet i want them to come to me.
I want their attention but at the same time, i dont want them to meddle with my affairs.
I want to tell my problems but i cant seemed to do it.
I want friends but i am afraid of them.
I know that i am insecure.
I am very insecure.
I treasure friendships very much but i cant seemed to hold on to them.
They tend to hurt me.
They tend to make me sad.
They tend to make my heart broke.
I trust people easily yet they make use of it.
Even though i know that i am being used, i still kept mum and continue with the friendship,hoping that one day they will realize it without me pointing it out.
I hate to hurt anyone feelings.
I hate to make people cry.
I love to see others laugh and smile.
Making them smile and laugh is one thing that i like to do.
Somehow, i really hope that i can hold on to the friends that i have now forever.
I really hope that they change my perspective towards friends.
I hope that the can make me feel secure.
