♥Saturday, January 29, 2005
Today, i went out with Xin Yi. I dragged my brother along becoz there is no one at home and my aunt went out.
It was ok at first.
I bought a pair of Converse shoes that cost $60 and a pouch that cost $20.After that, Ching Hwa came over and chatted with Xin Yi while i talk to my brother.
Ching Hwa left abt 3.30 for work and left the 3 of us.
We chatted foe awhile and i told Xin Yi what happened during the past few days.
Then as time goes on, i got a msg from my parents telling me that they called home but no one ans.So i called my brother who was supposed to be at home to ask him where he is.
He told me that he was out with my cousin and a friend of theirs at Westmall.
So i hung up and went to KFC where i met him.
I told him that our parents called and no one was home to answer the call.
I asked him why he was out so early and wad time did his job start.
He told me rudely what was wrong that he went out to eat. He continued telling me that if i can go out, why he cant. He also say that i should be at home and not going out playing basketball.
I was hurt by his words and stalked out of the KFC.
I went to the toilet, breathing deeply, refusing to spill my tears but i did.
Everyone stared at me.
I guess they are thinking that i broke up with my boyfriend or sumthing. Haha...
Xin Yi brought my brother and I under the Ching Hwa's block.
My brother called me and shouted at me saying that i was supposed to go home immediately coz my grandfather is arriving.
Then my aunt called and told me to get the keys from my cousin coz she was out.
I said ok. Then my brother called again and started to call me names.
I hate it. I know what i am supposed to do. Wad right does he have to instruct me and call me names?
What am I? His younger sister?
I cut him off and hang up the call.
He called again and started scolding me again.
In the end, i switched off the hp.
I cried very hard.
Xin Yi and my brother juz kept quiet.
Then, after awhile, i laughed.
I dunnoe why but i juz laughed.
They looked at me weirdly.
Well, it means that i am very emotionally unstable.
Xin Yi started to talk about boyfriends and Kunda and stuff.
I was ok for awhile.
I felt bad crying like that in front of them.
I used to be in control of my feelings and only cry when i am alone.
I am sorry that they have to watch me cry.
How am i feeling right now?
I dunnoe. I honestly dunnoe...
♥Friday, January 28, 2005
I came home from tuition at abt 11.30.
I waited for any call from the school till 12pm before i could book any practical lessons.
Finally, when it was after 12pm, i booked one lesson at 3.45pm.
I was changing my blog when my hp rang.
It was Fuchun Primary asking me to cum but i rejected coz i told her that i had sumthing on. Furthermore, it was already 1.10pm!
When i came to the lesson, the instructor whom i prefer not to name him started to ask me questions.
He asked me whether this is my second lesson. I replied yes.
Then he asked me why i took so long to book another lesson. I told him that i was busy with work.
He replied that everyone has work to do and that is not a good reason.
I kept quiet. I already had a bad time at home with my idiotic brother.
I was rather pissed off by him. He started to lecture me abt y we shouldnt take so long to continue another lesson.
If i do not have tolerance, i would have lashed out at him and stalked off from there.
I kept as quiet as possible and kept the conversation to minimum. I have absolutely no desire to talk to that kind of instructor.
The practice was ok except for i braked jerkily. Partly was becoz i was having trouble keeping my emotions under control.
I did pretty well. In fact, i did not even lost any touch when i drive. i remeber everything perfectly. So wad's the problem?
After the whole thing, we parked the car and he started to lecture me again. I told him that my job was unpredictable coz i am a relief teacher. I doubt that he understand or even hear it coz he still keep ranting on and on.
Who is he to tell me wad to do? As if he pay for my lessons.
I have to work to get money. The money that is used to pay for my driving lessons and also HIS pathetic salary!
♥Thursday, January 27, 2005
It's been almost 2 weeks since my parents left.
Its the most horrible 2 wks ever in my life. Well, except for my birthday. Hehe...
I carry a very heavy burden.
I am expected to run the house but i have no help at all.
I controlled all the money and expenses in my house for the time being.
OK, this is all not stressful.
Everyday, i have a job. Be it tuition or relief teaching or sometimes even both in one day.
Going to work is already pressurizing.
I have to face those noisy kids which seemed to have endless amount of energy.
I scolded them for awhile but they resumed their mischief one second later.
I have sore throat by the end of the day.
If for tuition, the kid is very playful.
He keeps fidgeting abt in hi seat as if there are worms in his butts.
I really feel like glueing his butt to the chair.
Furthermore, he keeps talking abt Kunda and that makes me distracted and forgot what i want to teach him.
Arghh!!!
Stupid Kunda. Why must he have such a great impact on me?
Then everyday, i have to wash clothes, vacuum the house, mop the floor, wash the dishes and make the beds.
If i have teaching, my housework will put on hold and i will only finished it during night time.
Luckily, i did not have to cook. Coz i dunnoe how to cook.
Once, i fried some nuggets andchicken wings.
It is an easy job and i have done it many times but still i got oil pooping to my skin. How stupid can i be in cooking?
Just because i dunnoe how to cook, i got many sarcasm abt it.
Many ppl told me that i am lazy, nv put it effort, etc.
I tried cooking but i juz cant!
I am not lazy. I am very,very tired. Does anyone know that?
What right do they have to say such things to me?
Even though i may joke abt it and put on a smile, those words really hurt.
Fortunately, my aunt offered to cook and my brother and i always eat out at her place and also hang out there.
Now, my grandfather will be coming to stay in my house on the 2nd Feb till my parents got home which is not the 11 Feb.
I feel more stressful.
It is already enough that my brother, the middle one, criticize me that i always depend on my aunt and is too lazy to cook.
Actually, i dun wan to depend on my aunt.
But she insisted. How can i refuse her when she called me everyday and told me that she had already cooked for us?
I am troubled abt my grandfather.
Many ppl wonder what is the big problem.
It is just that i am worried how am i supposed to feed him.
Furthermore, i am always working.
How am i suppose to attend to him?
Must i stopped taking relief just becoz of this?
If i do, where am i suppose to get the money to support myself?
Well, if anyone were to read this, they may think that it is just a small problem and can be solved easily.
But in reality, it is not.
I really dunnoe what to do.
I just feel that my freedom is being restricted.
I just want to run away and never come back.
I am tired from this.
Just give me a break.
I doubt i can ever do that..
♥Monday, January 24, 2005
Hehe...
I know it is kind of too late to write abt this but i have been to occupied to really sit down and write abt what had happened. Even now, I am waiting for the clothes to wash so that i can hang it up.
Last Saturday, a group of friends organized an outing for my birthday.
I am touched by the move coz i did not really expect to have any party or celebration this year unlike he previous years.
Furthermore, these friends that celebrated my birthday with me are friends whom i just knew. Kind of sad that i could not celebrate it with my old friends. But on 2nd thoughts, i wonder who really are my old friends.
On Saturday,
I felt lazy and i could not get up from the couch. I was very absorb in watching Naruto.
But finally, somehow, i managed to get my butt off.
I met Siti, Xinyi, Ching Hwa and fart at Kbox at JE.
There, we sang songs and they even sang me a birthday song.
Lucky the room was dark coz i know my face was burning red. I could feel my ears hot.
They asked me to open up the presents.
Siti and Fart got me a toy Ultraman. It is SO CUTE!!! I love it to bits. I could not get my hands of that kawaii thing.
Xinyi and Ching Hwa got me Nan Ding Ge Er OST that i have been wanting to buy but i do not have the money or time to buy. I love the songs. Err.... Only 1 song actually. The one that Kunda sang. But, there are Kunda's photos in it. He is so cute! So shuai! i could not stop grinning when i look at his pictures.
After the Kbox, we went to JP to eat Seoul Garden.
I did not eat much, as usual.
We stayed there till almost closing time.
We shared cold jokes.
I have a feeling that the family next to us are not that happy with our rowdiness. But who cares? It's a free world! haha....
Oh yeah, there was a cute guy sitting in front of me but my appetitie gt lost when he left. No more eye candy! haha...
I went home at almost 11pm. I stayed home alone coz i told my bro to sleep at my aunt's house and my other bro was working and wun be home till 5am in the morning.
All in all, I had a great day.
Thanks for spending the day with me esp Ching Hwa.
I really appreciate what u guys bought for me.
Actually, i did not expect any presents. Your friendship means a lot to me. VERY MUCH. I wish that our friendship stays long and strong unlike other friendships that i have. I really wish that i can hold on to you guys for as long as possible. Thanks a lot.
Truly, sincerely from the deepest and bottom of my heart.
No words can describe how grateful i am.
♥Thursday, January 20, 2005
I am 20 today!
I can't believe it though. I am no longer a teen but not yet an adult.
How to be an adult? My character and my attitude is so much like a child.
What happened today?
Let's see...
In the morning, i woke up early at 5am to cook fried maggi as i will be fasting today.. That is my specialty! Really! Haha...
Then, i iron my brothers clothes and woke them up at 6.30 for school.
After the boys had left, i washed all the dirty dishes and put the clothes in the washing machine.
Then while waiting for the clothes to dry, i took a short nap.
I woke up again at around 9am.
I rushed to Bukit Batok Driving Centre for my Final theory practice,revision class and test.
Guess what?
I had shaded the correct answer but i accidently shade the void box. Arghh! I lost i mark!
Then i booked a driving class at 2pm.
I went home as there is a lot of time in between. I managed to hang the clothes and pray.
I rushed to BBDC and lucky to make it there in time.
During the practice, i kept making the engine stopped coz i let go of the clutch quickly. The instructor make funny comments about it.
Then, i kept pressing the brake hard and when the car kind of jerk when it stopped.
Then i pressed the acceleratoe hard and the instuctor joked whether i want to take part in the F-1 race. However, i did improve a bit towards the end of the practice though. hehe...
After that, i called my cousin and meet her at westmall.
I left bbc at 3.45pm. She ended her school at 4.30pm. I decided to walk to westmall instead of taking a bus.Little did i know, that this 'shortcut' brought me to Bt Batok East View and and the Bukit batok Park and the Bt Batok Community Centre. I walked so far! I almost wanted to get a taxi but i strive on, determine to get there by walking.
Well, I am fasting but still managed to get there no matter what!
YEAH!!! haha...
At westmall,i met up wif my cousin and i bought mayday cd and one other vcd.
Hehe... My birthday treat for myself.
Throughout the day, I received many birthday messages from my friends- my secondary to jc friends and other friends that i met outside school.
My parents messaged me from Arab and wished me that i will get married soon. Haha...
There is one friend, Diana. She is my Commonwealth Sec friend. She tried calling me frm morning till she managed to get thru me just to wish me Happy Birthday and apologized coz she forgot to send me a birthday card. I am so touched by her move.
Seriously, I am a very absent-minded person and i tend to forget or mix up people's birthdays.
Sorry!
I went back to my aunt's house to break my fast.
My brother came and bought me an ice-cream cake and a red Energy T-shirt for my birthday.
He is so sweet!
hehe....
I like the present very much...
The day had been quite exciting. This is also the first time i spend my birthday without my parents around. I love all the things that they gave me no matter what it is. I also thanked everyone who remembered my birthday. It really touched my heart.
THANK YOU A LOT!!
♥Friday, January 14, 2005
I am very tired, physically at least.
But i cant rest. I feel ironically ok.
But i know my body is very worn out nut my mind is not.
These past few days, i have been working non-stop.
My parents went Haj.
So i have to take care of the things and clean the house.
My grandparent from KL came over and i have to serve them plus my everyday routine.
On thursday, i woke up at 8.30am.
Clean up the house.
Then my grandparents went off. I went to take my paternal granmother to see the doctor.Then sent a vcd to my aunt's house as i promised to lend her.
Went home at 1pm.
Continue doing housework and prepared for my driving class.
Went home at 5+.
Too tired, i slept for about 50 mins.
My cousin came over and let her watch nan ding ge er.
Then watch catwoman with my step-grandmother's daughter.
I finally managed to sleep at 2am in the morning.
The next day which is today, i woke up at 6.20am.
Prepare my bro for school and make breakfast for my grandparents who are leaving for KL.
They left at about 7.30.
I washed the clothes and threw away yesterday's cooking.
Rushed to tuition at 8am.
During tuition, the tution kid kept describing about Kunda's body being hairy which i think he mistook for someone else. Kunda's body is not hairy! Dun ask me how i know...
Went home at abt 11am.
Got a call from Concord Primary School.
Continue washing the clothes that i left halfway while rushing to prepare for teaching.
Went to my aunt's house to fetch my bro and eat after school.
Went home about 8.45pm.
Finally managed to rest and hang out the clothes.
Haizz...
Very long day.
Tomorrow, i got tuition at 4pm till 5pm.
And i have not prepared for it yet.
Guess i have to wake up early to print the exercises and stuff.
Well, this is after all my life..
♥Monday, January 10, 2005
From what i know, Nan ding ge er means nightingale in chinese.
Nightingale represents the nurse, Florence Nightingale.
Therefore, nan ding ge er is about nurses and a funny one too!
The drama never fails to cheer me up despite whatever feelings i am in.
These past week and a few days, i have been so busy.
Tuition in the morning, relief in the afternoon. Weekends, i try to catch up on my driving lessons.
I am very tired. So tired that i can just fall flat in my bed.
Why am i torturing myself to work so hard?
Coz i need the money badly. I need to pay for my driving lessons and also my daily needs.
If i laze around, my parents will nag telling i am lazy and stuff. Well, they just could not understand how tiring to cope with life nowadays especially when you are a youngster who had just stepped into thw working world.
It is very stressful and i need to plan all my time wisely and cannot even spare some time to have the whole day rest.
This is just the beginning. Once my parents are gone to Mecca, i will take over the household chores.
The household chores plus my work load, it is very heavy for me to carry everyday.
I could not depend on my idiotic brothers. No reason why. They are just useless and idiotic.
Therefore, the only thing i can take my mind off these things is to watch Nan Ding Ge Er.
Everyday, i would look forward to watch the drama. Well, even though i know that i will not be able to use the computer for that day.
Just thinking about it makes me smile.
Call me insane or crazy. But this the only way i can help myself out of this whole things.
The drama itself is very funny. Hilarious in fact.
Furthermore, my favourite idol starred in that drama. He is none ither than XIE KUNDA!
Haha....
I really like this guy.
He can really act very well despite a lot of people calling him expressionless.
I can't imagine him being so perverted. But the drama proves it. I feel like digging his eyes out sometimes when he looks at the girl's legs.
Well, in this drama, he is very kind-hearted. He cheers up a lot of people.
Not only that, he is VERY SHUAI in the drama.
Even the song he sings is very nice. His voice is so sweet!
Hehe....
♥Saturday, January 08, 2005
I have been having nightmares recently.
Nightmares about somebody trying to kill me and my family.
This is crazy!
First, i dreamt a small part of it.
Then after that, the dreams get more detailed and i even kind of saw the guy who is supposed to kill my family and me.
♥Saturday, January 01, 2005
So fast, its the year 2005.
Makes me feel so old!
I am going to turn 20 on the 20 Jan, not 20 Feb! Haha...
What is my new year resolution?
Hmm...
I got a few actually.
But seriously, i wish that i will find my knight in shinning armour. Umm...even tho in this modern era there is no knights or guys wearing armour... Haha...
Then, i also wish that i can go university this year.
I really, really hope that i can go.
Then, I also wish that i can get my driving license ASAP!
Hmm...
I just got off chatting with one of my school friends.
He told me that he love this woman, (well i can't say girl right?) but he is afraid of telling her.
Haha... So i kidded with him and tell him to confess for its too late.
He ask me abt my resolution and i told him mine.
I told him that i wish that i could find a guy juz like Kunda.
Guess wad he said? he said Kunda looked like one of the people from special school!
Arghh!!! That nerve of that guy!
Not only him, SOMEONE also said that Kd is ugly.
KD is not ugly! Am i the only one who think this way?
Weird people!
