♥Saturday, April 30, 2005
I juz woke up.
N my heart was racing.
Why?
I juz had the most scariest dream ever!
I was a girl with two personalities.
In the day,I was a law abiding student.
In the day, I was a wanted thief like Carmen Sandiego or Lupin.
I was working in huge company.
Can't remember what type of company is it.
Somehow, a big-shot from the company fall in love with me.
The guy was tall, handsome, fair with long hair.
His voice is soft and gentle.
He is a very romantic guy and would always try to ask me out which i rejected.
Then one night, when i was out to steal, he managed to caught me.
I tried to run away from him by swinging from trees to trees using this device like the one in spiderman.
I fell down and hit my head.
The guy rushe to me and hugged me hard.
Suddenly, there was a lot of people around me.
A lady was in front of me and gasped.
She whispered that blood was seeping from my head.
The guy shot her a warning glare.
I knew that i was going to die.
I asked the guy to bring me to a place.
He brought me to his place.
His house.
There were a lot of people playing games.
He shooed two guys away and gently put me in front of the game.
He placed the control pad in my hand and i started to play clumsily.
I leaned on him.
I stopped playing and ask him for my hp.
I began calling all my friends to ask for forgiveness.
I ask forgiveness for him and his family who was there.
He hugged me tightly and I distinctly remembered his hair smell.
Suddenly, the song "Tui Mo Lu" played in the tv.
I gave him a weak smile and said, "Guess this is the last time i am going to see you singing."
My eyes started to feel heavy.
I heard someone telling me to utter a prayer.
I managed to do it.
I felt immense pain and slowly close my eyes.
Then i bolted awake.
I sat in my bed, wondering what had happened.
The dream was so real!
I was willing myself to wake up when i knew i was a bout to die but to no avail.
I knew that i was dreaming but whn i tried to wake up and could not, i thought, this is real and i am going to die.
I can nv forget the last few moments of the dream.
It's damn real.
I am so scared out of my wits.
♥Friday, April 29, 2005
Yesterday was Ching hwa's birthday party.
It was fun and enjoyable.
Let me explain in details... Haha...
At around 1pm, i remembered that i had not finished decorating the card so i quickly took all my drawing materials to finish the card.
I laze around, watching Inuyasha till about 3pm when my mom cooked the fried rice.
I only cut up the things and stir the rice. Other than that, i did nothing.
Around 4.15pm, i started to pack my bag and things.
I know, its very last minute.
But its me, i tend to wait till the last minute to do things. Hehe...
Around 4.22pm, i went to pray and dress up.
I woke my brother up at about 4.30pm.
I totally forgot to wake him up.
So he quickly woke up, pray and dress up.
The 2 of us quickly went to Causeway Point to pick up the cake.
On the way to Bt Batok, we met with Fathiah and we went together there.
Siti called us to accompany here to the Bt batok CC where they were having a Toy R Us warehouse sale.
We waited for her to pay for about 1 hr+.
Haizz... If it was an autograph session, i would have already went up and see the idols!
While waiting, I called Xy to take the fried away from me.
My poor Converse bag now had a fried rice smell!
We went to the BBQ pit at abt 6pm.
We talked, played some ball games with the people there.
After that, we ate a bit.
Sumhow tho, my brother got kind of attached to Ching Hwa's boyfriend.
He kept disturbing him.
Y? I have no idea y.
Then, it was time to cut a cake.
One of their friends, bought a small cake for Ching Hwa.
Wad did she do with the cake?
After Ching Hwa had made a wish and blew the candles, she smashed the cake into Ching Hwa's face.
Well, it was a harmless joke but i kind of don't like it.
It is very painful to get into the eyes and nose.
Also, it is wasteful to waste food even tho it cost $10.
Haizz.. Nvm, its their money not mine.
I need every penny to survive in this world. Haha...
This is hoe she look like with cake on her face.
I guess her face wanted to have a bit of the cake too!
Don't worry, the cake is a new moisturizer for the face.
So girls, what are you waiting for?
Smashed yourself with a cake and your face will be flawless!
After being smashed, Ching Hwa took revenge and swipe the cake to everyone.
I gt cake on my favourite Ultraman shirt!
Lucky its not being damage badly, if not, i would have scream my head off at her.
Juz kidding!
After she went to wash up, we continued to talk and eat.
Well, what esle was there to do besides eating, play and talk?
Haha...
When she came back, we forced her to feed her bf the strawberry which is on the cake and vice versa.
She was so shy but he bf is sporting. Haha...
She finally did it but she did so fast that my camera could not catch it.
This is what i gt.
We gave her the present that we bought and custom-made specially for her.
At about 10pm, Xy and Siti sang the song that they composed to Ching Hwa.
I hope that moved her.
They put in a lot of efforts in it.
At about 10.30pm, we went to play bball in the dark.
We are nuts, we know.
Haha...
Oops!I totally forgot abt our cooks for that night.
Here we are, presenting our beloved cooks!
Hmm...We all loved the food, don't we?
Haha...
I went to see my hp and saw my parents had been calling me.
When i called back, i got and earful.
Basically, I got nag because i never picked up my hp.
Kind of my fault.
hehe...
In conclusion, i enjoyed my day.
I guess everyone enjoyed themselves too.
Oh yeah, Xy should not mentioned anything bad abt Sw if she did not want to get pinch.
partly her fault. Haha...
But then, y should anyone get so worked up when someone say something bad which is obviously not true about the person you like?
I guess, she was way off overeacting..
♥Tuesday, April 26, 2005
This is something that i juz wrote.
For the sake of fun
As usual, crapping around..
Smile
Seeing you smile
It's such a rarity
But its the smile
Making me fall for you for eternity
Always having a mask on your face
I often wonder
Whether your feelings are true
Whether you truly love me
Seeing you smile
All my doubts vanished
Away a thousand miles
Coz i know
You only smile
For me
These past few days, i felt nothing.
I had been doing the same things over and over again.
On Monday, wake up at 8am. Go for tuition.
If there is relief, i go for relief.
On tuesday, if there is relief, i go.
The same thing goes till Friday.
Saturday is the day where i did nothing.
Sunday, is the day i play basketball.
Then come Monday where things will go as routine.
I feel as if i am a robot which is programmed to do all this things.
No life, no excitement, no nothing.
My brain is pure blank.
I may look like i have emotions playing on my face but in atual fact, I had zoned out.
People told me to get a life.
How am i suppose to get a life when there is absolutly nothing to do?
Sound advice but not workable.
The truth?
I am juz plain bored and tired of my pathetic life.
Just waiting what happen next without feeling anything.
♥Thursday, April 21, 2005
Yes!
I finally did it.
I had been trying the whole afternoon to try and burn this stupid songs into one cd.
Finally, i managed to do it.
Now, i can listen all my fav songs in 1 cd.
How was my day today?
Fine.
I got to teach my brother's malay class today.
My brother told me that his friends felt that i was very fierce.
Haha...
Me? Fierce?
That will be the last thing anyone will find me to be.
Just like today, i will behaving tuition from 9 to 10.30 which will usually end close to 11am tomorrow.
Then rush to sch before 11.50 am.
Then end sch at arnd 5.30 pm.
After that i am home free!
Except for there is no religious class like tonight.
Weekends, here i come!
Maybe i will go Causeway point tomorrow and library.
I need to borrow new books asap.
Hehe...
In the meantime, i will have fun with the new games that i downloaded in my phone!
♥Monday, April 18, 2005
I change a picture and the song.
Dunnoe y.
Maybe had enough of Kunda?
Maybe, maybe not.
The feeling i have now is the exact same thing that is expressed by the Sesshoumaru, the cartoon picture that i had changed.
Dun ask me wad happen.
For I will answer,
It's none of ur business.
♥Saturday, April 16, 2005
Today is the day which i have been waiting for so long.
Finally get to see my favourite idols after so long.
Early in the morning, i was so rudely woken up by the sound of drilling and knocking from the next door.
I was having a peaceful sleep then.
Haizzz....
Already had a bad start.
Went to Junction 8 at 4.30pm.
My cousin and i were walking around and wondering the whole shopping centre.
I was looking for this particular cap but i could not find it.
I guess i haf to go to this cap shop in Takashimaya.
Xy and CT came abt 5.30pm.
We saw many ppl entering and my cousin asked a policeman abt it.
We went down and queued up.
We were so behind!
I dun mind as long i can see them.
Unfortunately, my view was being blocked by this guy who carried his gf so that she could take photos of Energy.
Please lah, i want to see ENERGY not sum action of love in front of me.
I am so damn pissed off.
Everytime i want to manage to see Kunda, sum dumb guy would appear in front and block my view.
They are not comparable to KUNDA!! I feel like strangling them.
When my view was badly blocked, i almost feel like crying.
I even wanted to go out.
Feel like giving up.
I am so unhappy abt it.
Eg sang sum songs, talked crap and played a game.
Entertaining but it would be better if the fans have sum consideration for the ppl behind and nt waving the banners every minute.
Anyway, its over.
The only thing now is the concert which i am looking foward to go.
By hook or by crook i muz go coz i already miz the 1st concert.
♥Saturday, April 09, 2005
Its Saturday already.
I thot this day would never come.
The whole week was pretty hectic for me.
It is very tiring and finally i had the whole day to myself!
I woke up very late today. Haha...
So happy...
On Tuesday,
I was called to relieved a P1 class.
I went to the teacher's table to put my thimgs and also to prepare what to do with the class.
I found nothing on the table.
I really mean NOTHING!
No textbooks, no worksheets, no instructions.
I am pretty fine when i saw that there were no instructions left for me.
I could come up what to teach the class spontaneously.
It's not a problem for me.
I looked all over the teachers table and found no textbook.
Ok, not a problem also. I could juz borrow one of the children's books.
I went to class, with juz markers.
I told the class to take out their books.
Guess wad?
Their books are in the lockers and the locker keys are locked. The key was nowhere to be found.
I was damn frustrated. The idiotic teacher locked all the cabinets.
Then, some of the kids returned their NKF cards.
I ticked their names and put the cards together with the others in the box in the classroom.
The day ended.
The next day, i was called to relieve the same school for 2 days for a P3 class.
I was preparing what to teach as usual when the teacher i relieved the day before approached me and asked me abt the NKF cards.
I told her that i put all the cards and ticked the names in blue.
She said that one of the kids said she gave the me card but i nv ticked her name and in the card contained money.
She was implying that i am careless and stupid, like i wanted to steal the pathetic money.
Crazy!
Who would want to steal a few dollars?
I have my own dignity and pride.
I never am careless with money when i dealed with money.
She chided me and the teachers around heard it even tho hey pretended to ignore it.
I was seething quietly and turned the volume of my discman very loud.
Listening to Energy slowly calm me down...
On thursday, was the final day i taught the P3 class.
I told the class to give me a few more minutes to go thru the last worksheet and after that they wun see ever again. I added the last sentence jokingly.
They cheered and said that their teacher would be back the next day.
I smiled fakely but i was hurting inside.
I know that they are juz kids but i could not help feeling that they did not appreciate what i was doing with them.
On Friday,I had my first day of my period.
I was having a stomachache and was looking for panadol.
I called my bro to send me some but he refused.
I was so furious.
The kids under me that day suffered under my wrath.
Haha...
Well, served them right for making so much noise.
I was scolding them and the class was silent.
The teachers walking past looked into the class and was kind of surprised.
Haha...
Being a relief teacher is no fun.
It is pressurizing and will only lower my self-esteem.
Everyone thought being a relief teacher is great fun and easy.
They thought that you juz go in the class and tell the class to do their own work.
If i ever do that, the class would be in chaos!
Not only that, there is no dignity in being a relief teacher.
There is no one in the whole school who respect and appreciate what i had done.
No onel will ever notice my existence there.
The clerks and the teachers would juz ignore me.
They will happily apprached me and changed my time-table as they like it, not caring if i had the time to eat or not.
I really wonder why i still stick to relief teaching up till now and what makes me tolerate all these nonsense.
Some relief had a higher advantage then others.
Especially when the teacher is a handsome guy who is sporty and tall and young.
All the female teachers will take notice and would chat with him.
Even when i was introduced to him, i did not even try to chat with him.
He did not even attract me a bit.
But guess wad?
He loves playing basketball and apparently great with kids!
He has all the qualities that i look for in a guy which i thought only Kunda has.
Too bad i am not attracted to him even tho i know his hp no.
Haha....
♥Monday, April 04, 2005
I was pretty bored tonight while waiting for my jap drama to start.
So, i poked around my room and saw my old diary.
A diary that i wrote in when i was in secondary school.
I read back all he entries, well, i didnt write much.
For all i know, my secondary school lif is EXTREMELY terrible.
Betrayal, back-stabbing, gossips ar some of the stuff that i experience throughout my whole secondary shool years in Fuchun.
There was never one entry that i wrote abt a happy event.
Maybe because i am lazy to write? Haha...
But whatever it is, i could never remember any happy things that happen in my sec life. There are 1 or 2 but that is all about it.
Most of them, i could remember the hurt, the coldness that my so-called friends gave me.
I had been make used and dumped just like a toy.
I felt like crying when i read back my old diary.
All i felt was insecured and lonely.
I do keep in contact with some of the 'close' friends now but i really feel nothing for them.
They msn me or messaged me once in awhile and i listened to their woes.
I gave them support.
When they asked abt myself, i just replied that i am ok, no matter what state i am in.
Haizz...I am begining to think i am heartless and a hypocrite.
Making people happy when i do not feel anything abt it.
I guess i am too used to making people used me as a source of happiness that i will do it automatically.
I want them to be happy coz i cant stand people no matter how much i dislike or have no feelings for thm to be sad.
My last entry was abt me liking Energy for the first time.
I had a good laugh over it.
I can't believe that i was really fanatic abt Ah Di!
There was this sentence tho, "I like Ah Di a lot but i don't understand why Kunda is in my mind a lot."
Haha...
Hmm....Up till now, i am still wondering why.
