May finally arrived.
Will it bring happiness or more troubles?
One can never see
Or tell the future
Buut from what i am experiencing now,
May brought nothing but troubles for me.
Maybe it's too early to decide it.
I don't know.
People kept asking me whether i got into the University or not.
What am i suppose to tell?
I told them the answer so many times, yet they can't get it into their heads.
I heard a lot of my parents that other people had gotten the answer from the uni excep for me.
How am i suppoe to know that?
I am scared.
Very scared.
All the past work and effort that i endured and put in depends on this result.
I had endured relief teaching pains.
I had suffered mockings, insults, jealousy, hurt.
Yet i show indifference by putting a 'heck-care' face.
People say i am strong.
Am i?
I feel bits and pieces of me crumbling slowly.
Every night i cried myself to sleep.
Sometimes without knowing why.
I may be chatty, daydreaming and zoned out.
Deep inside, i am worried.
Extremely worried.
I can't see my future.
I don't know where to go.
What path to take.
Do i have to keep lying to others?
Why must i lie?
Why must i be strong?
Why?
