♥Wednesday, January 25, 2006
My 21st birthday....
I thot it will be memorable and fun.
When the clock struk 12, my colleagues surprised me with a birthday cake.
They sang me a birthday song and teased me.
It was very touching and i will never forget it ever.
That night i and a few of my new colleagues had to performed.
Sha, Lina, Shafiq and I.
Dressed in chinese clothes with huge flowers on our head.
Haha...
It was fun and exciting.
I like the dressing up and performing.
After the performance, Shafiq was pulled and made to dance with ACMS former chief.
Th 3 of us were at the back, fidgeting like some call girls.
It was so embarrassing!
The whole party sang me a birthday saong and cut and blew candle.
Hehe....
I was very nervous.
The night before Ching Hwa called me to discuss about the outing.
I was not that happy with what they had in store for me.
Either the beach or eat at Seoul Garden.
That was mistake no.1. Strike 1.
I hated the beach and hated eating.
I dun dare tell them that.
Why?
Because i dun wan to hurt their feelings.
Ching Hwa told me that she could not join us for long coz she wanted to meet her boyfriend.
That was mistake no.2. Strike 2.
I was upset but i didnt tell her.
I did not want to tell for fear of not being an understanding friend.
The night of my birthday, after the performance, I had a message.
A message from Siti.
Telling me that she cant make it for the outing.
That was mistake no.3. The final and last strike. Strike 3.
I gathered all my courage not to cry in that function.
I did what i thought was best way out.
I message them, telling them that i am not going out anymore.
That night, i cried.
The next day which was supposed to go out, i juz lay in bed, wondering what the world was happening.
All i wanted was my closest friends to sacrificed juz one day.
One day for me.
One day to accompany me.
One day. Juz one day.
I wun ask for more.
Is that so difficult?
Is it so hard?
They are the closest friends i had.
I had no other close friends.
That day, i cried.
I cried myself to sleep.
Ever since that day, ever since my birthday, nothing went right.
I cried to sleep everynight.
How can anyone understand how i felt?
Tell me, how can i ever trust anyone after this?
How can i trust a person saying that they will be there for me no matter what.
How can i trust a person who called themselves my friends?
If you have an answer, call me.
♥Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Everitime i logged into the net, i have no idea what to do.
I feel like I'm searching for someone.
A certain someone.
Whom i know he will never be online.
Haizz...
Whom am i kidding?
Juz me...
♥Friday, January 06, 2006
Today is the most embarrassing day ever in my life!
I actually cried in front of my seniors-Kak Rohana and Taj.
Its so idiotic.
Taj gave me choc to eat.
Haha....
Why do i cry?
I had been bottling this feeling up for very long.
Juz need sumthing to pour it out.
Even so, i didnt cry as much as i wanted.
Its a complicated problem and i didnt know what is my fault.
Am I being too insensitive towards ppl?
I dunnoe...
I'm juz tired of being ignored.
♥Monday, January 02, 2006
Hey, i gt the most weirdest dream ever last nite.
The scene was in a hospital.
There were 2 guys in a room dressed in white coats, like those doctors.
Want to know who they are?
They are none other than Wang Shaowei and Kunda.
They were arguing with each other.
I could remember Kunda asking him angrily, "Are you going to let your sister die juz like tat?"
Shaowei stared at him in anger.
Kunda left the room in anger.
The scene changed and i saw a cute little boy arnd 2 years of age with soft brownish hair and bright eyes and dimples.
The boy was walking around the street alone at nite.
He made his way to the hospital.
He walked thru the hospital and went into an office.
Inside was Kunda looking miserable.
The boy shouted to him, "Papa!"
Kunda looked shocked and hugged him.
The last scene was Kunda and the boy went into a ward.
It was a woman lying unconcious and that woman was me.
Weird rite?
Apparently, Kunda and Shaowei are doctors and the boy was actually Kunda and my son.
I guessed i was involved in an accident and was in a coma.
It is so weird....
