It's 2 am in the morning at work.
I can't seem to fall asleep.
My heart feels heavy.
One of the reasons is that I'm tired of this work.
I used to think that this job is fun.
I used to think that I'm very lucky to be in this shift coz I can get along with all the people and have fun with them.
Yeah, I did have fun with them but there is where is all ends.
They have fun but at the same time, some of them just do not take work seriously.
I'm a serious worker and a workaholic.
I get restless when I'm not doing anything.
Once I do not do anything, my whole body seemed to shut down and i will sleep which is why people often labelled me as lazy.
My attitude somehow reminds me of the japanese.
That's why I find the japanese work culture suitable for me.
Tonight, 5 men were down, Firah, Imran, kerk, lee, shahrul.
I was sent to BT.
Taj had to mend T2.
Sha was called back to mend T1
Haffiz was DEO and also got called up.
Taj called me and asked me whether will i be gg up to apron.
I said no coz my head is spinning.
Rohana also asked me to come up at 4.30 till 6am to help.
I'm tired.
What am i?
I felt as if I am being kicked around like a ball.
Fine, they are shortage of manpower.
But they could ask Sha.
I mean, you get recalled back to do work, not slack right?
She's mending T1 which is like free time and you get paid double for that.
Can't she go up for a few hours?
I know that she return to help us but then this is the time to help right?
Why must it be me?
Just cause I am in this shift?
Even tho they have 3 people up there, they will still call me up to help from 4-6am.
Where is my resting time?
I could only sleep from 2am onwards to settle everything like endorsing belts and wake up at 6.30am to do inspection and write up the report.
T1 is easy but it's also tiring.
I don't know what's come over me.
I am just tired.
Tired of being used.
They can laugh and joke around without me even though I'm right there in front of their noses.
I feel neglected.
But now, I am being pushed right through the end that I felt nothing at all.
I just want them to let me be alone.
Right now, I reached to the point that I come to work and that go home when it's time.
Haha...
That terrible,huh?
My heart feels tight.
From that problem and also....
I don't know.
I longed for someone but I don't know who he is.
I know I love him but I don't know who he is.
I must be crazy...
